Letter from Jonna. Coming home to the regular… People complaining about the bus being one minute late, endless talks about weather, how expensive groceries has become and why people cannot learn to follow traffic rules. Bitter perspectives mixed with sweet ones. Clean streets, beautiful parks and green areas in the city center, people being very polite, organized systems that benefits people, fresh air, wind mills, sun cells and hybrid cars. Bitter sweet mix.
Everything is exactly as how I left it but now seen from eyes that have been developed. From a more aware mind and with wider eyes my home country and ordinary things has changed.
Since I came home from St Vincent I’ve felt a longing for horses. I had the opportunity for three weeks in the beginning of my return to be with my mum’s horses but since I moved to a city far away from my parents’ house I haven’t had the chance to meet with any horses since. Just until recently. Last Sunday I was finally going to spend some time with horses again with my sister who asked me if I could come and ride an Icelandic horse at her neighbors- a horse that I used to ride sometimes before going to the Caribbean. Happily I said yes and off we went.
We got the horses from their muddy, small and only pasture which is a very common way to keep horses in the south of Sweden. People are glad they have one small space for them in their backyard so they don’t have to have them in the garage and straight on their lawn.
I had forgotten about the procedure we used to do when about to ride. No time to hang out a little bit first. No communication between the horse and the person. I did try but these horses haven’t ever been listened to, so of course we didn’t understand each other. My sister told me to hurry up, more rain was coming.
My sister gave me a long whip and I asked her if I really needed it. She said it’s only for showing. Once in the saddle and warmed up we were about to speed and get the horses to tölt (a special walk for Icelandic horses, same speed as trot). I used to get this horse to tölt very easily in the past but this time it didn’t work. She didn’t want to and I felt that there was something she disliked. I got off and corrected the saddle. They have a special saddle that you are supposed to put very far back on their back so they have room for the front legs to move in the tölt. I wasn’t used to this so I might have put the saddle to far forward. I corrected the saddle but it was still the same when I got back up. My horse became moody when I tried with the cues so I told my sister to slow down and just walk. My sister tried to tell me to hold with tighter reins and be a bit hard in her mouth. This I refused. We decided to swop horses instead.
My sister got my horse to tölt and I could do tölt on her horse because he was very motivated to speed so I didn’t have to bother him with any cues. My sister found it weird that I couldn’t get my first horse to speed up. I think the old me I would agree, but not this time. There was nothing unclear about it. I didn’t have any time to synchronize with the horse in any way. I used her as a bicycle, I brushed her off and put my helmet on and off we went. It didn’t feel good before we even got up in the saddle but I had no time to think. How can it then be good while riding?
No, this is not something I would like to be a part of. I can enjoy myself in other ways without harming any another creature. This is no longer pleasure for me, horses are so much more then riding. I don’t love riding. I love horses.
I promise myself once again. If I cannot have horses in the most natural way as possible in every way, I’d rather not have any. I refuse to use horses like this. My experiences can be seen as limiting and yes it is, but it has given me so many valuable thoughts that I would like to act on.
I’ve become much more mature and thereof made a promise to do my very best to be true to nature as far as possible. This I will keep. I will follow my own morals (heart) and I hope many others will too.
With love and passion for horse and nature
Thank you so much for your letter!
I have seen you, Jonna, on your spiritual ride through the rainforest with Darling. Your ride has moved me to tears again and again.
Darling gave us both a ride to truth. Darling will stay with us forever and so will the truth she told us.
We need to tell our stories because the abuse of the planet, the abuse of other animals and the abuse of our very own species has to stop.
Once you know truth in your head and once you also know it in your heart, you will never return to compromise what is the right thing to do. You will do the right thing and this liberates you.
I am so grateful to have you in my life.
Much sunshine to all of you from St. Vincent